When Grief Comes Calling
Thankfully, we don’t consciously live our life thinking that something bad is going to happen to us, but when it does happen and we experience a significant loss, we aren’t quite prepared for the range or intensity of emotions that we can experience, and it can feel like nothing will ever feel normal again.
Elisabeth Kubler Ross identified the most common stages that people may go through in grief as denial, anger, bargaining, sadness, and eventual acceptance. But she later explained that these experiences aren’t neat, linear checkpoints and that ‘’Our grieving is as individual as our lives.” Many people have described grief more like a roller coaster ride: ups, downs, and sudden turns that catch you off guard. The beginning often feels the hardest, but in time, the ride smooths out.
Grief in the beginning often feels surreal—like a fog or a dream you can’t wake up from. You might forget to eat, lose interest in conversation, or feel like the world is happening around you, without you being a part of it.
These are just some of the most common and temporary effects of loss. So, be patient and gentle with yourself. Over time, the fog slowly lifts, and brighter moments begin to return. Even if that feels impossible to believe now, keep this truth filed away!
There is no “right” or “wrong” way to grieve. How you experience grief is unique, and it will be shaped by your personality, life experiences, beliefs, and the depth of your connection to what or who you lost. Whatever your grief experience right now, be gentle and patient with yourself, because we can’t rush grief and just ‘get over it’. Allowing the process to unfold naturally is the best way through it.
Healing is gradual. It takes time to work through a loss. In fact, even years later, special dates, events, or familiar places can bring grief back to the surface. What changes is how we carry our grief. With support and self-care, the intense moments tend to become shorter and less overwhelming as we begin to grow our life around our grief.
Whether it’s staying connected to trusted friends and family or reaching out for professional guidance—seeking help is a powerful step toward healing.
You don’t have to do this alone.
